Time
Published January 29, 2012 | 
I wish I had more of it.
I wish I made better use of it.
I long for my senior years when time will go by faster but I’d just as soon stop time right now.
I simultaneously want my youngest child to stop growing up so quickly and my eldest child to hurry up and give us a grandchild. I want to have my 20-year old body back but wouldn’t trade the wisdom I’ve earned the hard way over those same years. The years have seen losses and gifts.
I am fully aware of how fast things are racing by me, but at the same time, 4:45-5:00 is the eternally long 15 minutes that confront me Monday through Friday, without fail.
It’s gone by so quickly. All those children will be gone in a blink of an eye. I remember that when I hear, “Hey, Mom” for the 12th time, in as many seconds. I don’t think I’m going to like that the passage of time will take the “Hey, Mom”s with it.
I am young… And old. I am alive for a short time on this earth, but I will live forever.
I don’t need to worry about time really. It passes but the passage of time is only a temporary phenomenon. The truth is that we are created to live forever, and we will. May I be a good steward of the time I have here and spend it focusing on the eternal rather than the temporary.
I completely understand the apostle Paul’s struggle with life and death. I can use the extra time for all good things but the internal conflict remains. “To live is Christ; to die is gain.”
I’m not an on-the-go gal. Instead, I like sitting and talking about things and learning more about the people I’m spending time with. I wish I did more of that. Maybe when I have more time.
11 Responses to Time
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Lovely sentiments. How true that we tend to wish for our children to be at a different point in their life and then wish we had the old time back. This blog really got me thinking and remembering.
I can tell that you know JOY!
As always you make me think. I too wish I could go back and not give up what is present at the same time. Sometimes I only want to go back a few months for just one more hug. Sometimes I want to go back 14 years and hold my newborn baby boys. I could pick so many moments in time that make my heart smile. You are right to remind me to be a good steward of what I do have.
Thank you.
I’m sure you gave many, as myself, something to think about. Beautiful piece.
Carolyn thank you so much for these thoughts. My youngest daughter Kelly Ann (27) was killed in a car accident a little over 16 months ago your words have given me just a little bit of comfort. I too wished I could stop or speed up time, now I wish I could make it go backwards. Working on her memorial album, working with my family photos helps me to remember the joy.
Oh, Ann, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m so glad you’re making the memorial album. I know from friends who have had tragedies and made similar albums and from my own memorial pages here and there, that it can be an important part of the healing process. One never fully recovers though. I’m humbled that what I’ve said here has helped you in some small way. When you complete your daughter’s album, please share it with me (carolyn@pixels2Pages.net). I’d love to see it if you’d like to share.
Beautifully written! No need to say more! Prayers are with you Ann, our daughter’s best friend was hit and killed by a drunk driver 3 years next month, 5 x DUI, 5 years spent in jail on previous DUI charge, walked away from the scene and went to fast food to eat while Emily lay dying on the street…life is hard, but Love Wins! Love lives in our hearts forever and we can share it! Did you see my tribute page? I seem to do one every year, those little Emily moments! God Bless!
Now that I am in my senior years, I would like time to slow down. I feel that I still have much to do. One of the benefits for me as a senior is my sense of contentment with who I am and being truly me.
I love that Kathryn! I’ve heard it said that an older woman just becomes more of who she is. If she is loving and kind, she becomes more so. If she is sour and honery, she becomes more so. I’ll be 50 soon and just can’t wait to live this next part of my life… hopefully with a lot of love and kindness.
Such a powerful reminder of all we have to cherish in the here and now . . . Ann and Jolley (and everyone else who has experienced losses), I am so very sorry, and so glad we have the technology and capabilities to help us write and document and cherish the joys and the heartaches and heartbreaks. We truly are the clay . . . and the Potter uses all of these experiences to mold us into what He would have us become . . .