It’s here! Wedding Day for my ‘baby’ girl is tomorrow. Now that the day is almost upon us, I am in action, finally! It’s a good thing I was able to raise my children to be responsible adults who are excellent planners and deadline-meeters (somehow!!). Perhaps it was reverse psychology, or maybe they just saw how procrastination can increase stress levels (if not in their mom, in themselves and their dad!), but at any rate, it worked. Kim has done an incredible job juggling her job (which took her to Ireland for a week last month), moving unexpectedly (the house she rented with two other women is now for sale, a month earlier than expected), being a supportive spouse-to-be for her fiance (who started a new job recently), attending showers (lucky girl!), writing thank you notes (a gracious plenty, thanks to incredible and generous friends), and trying to get her mother to pay attention to ‘to-do’ lists and pay bills (a near-impossible task) all while checking off her own wedding ‘to-do’ items.
I had to chuckle at how things change – when I got married, my mom did all the planning. I remember addressing invitations, getting my dress (mom’s) fitted, registering china, crystal, and silver, going to showers, and writing thank you notes. I think Mom did all the rest! My list of duties for Kim’s wedding has been even shorter, and even so, I’m behind. This past weekend (T minus 7 days), I decided what dress and shoes I would be wearing to the wedding. Still undecided, on the day I wrote this (T minus 3 days), is what I will wear to the rehearsal dinner.
Just last week I was starting, finishing, and ordering the guest register that Kim had asked me to create. Thank goodness for the Panstoria Print Shop!! No kidding – I started the book on Wednesday morning (T minus 10 days), ordered it on Wednesday evening, (paid extra for next-day air shipping), got notice the book shipped on FRIDAY, and Kim had it in her hands when she got home on Monday afternoon (T minus 5 days). What was I sweating for? We had plenty of time! But was I ever happy to hear Kim say, “Mom, it’s perfect! Thank you!” Now I can’t wait to see it!
If you have married children, you know what I mean when I say it will be a bittersweet day when my only daughter says, “I do!”. It’s the moment I spent eighteen years of full-time mom duty and another ten years of part-time momness working toward, praying that I taught her and showed her by example ALL of the important things I want her to know (including but not limited to):
- that she has everything she needs to create her own happiness
- that she is responsible for her own happiness
- that she always has a choice
- that her choices always have consequences
- that she’ll be able to live with both her choices and their consequences
- that love is enough, but that it’s not always easy to love enough
- that marriage, like any relationship worth keeping and nurturing, takes work and daily diligence
- that ‘two becoming one’ is something to cherish and protect always
- that no matter how much she loves Blake, she will always want and need girlfriends
- that all women need their own bank account, even if it’s a small one (for now, anyway!)
- that money is great, but it’s not everything
- that it is important to be a good steward of her (and their) resources – time, money, talent, relationships, possessions – and of the earth
- that she can do ANYTHING she wants to do, if she wants it badly enough and is willing to work for it
- that faith in God is crucial, and that His plan for her is a good one
- that I love her more than she can imagine right now, but that I hope someday she will know what I mean when she’s a mom
I could keep going, but you understand, right? Did I imprint these things on her heart? Will she remember them? Will she come to me if she doesn’t? More than anything, I want her to be happy and to be fulfilling her life’s purpose. I want her to put Blake’s needs ahead of hers, just as he puts hers ahead of his. I want her to remember that God is at the center of her home and her heart. I want her to feel and be loved, cherished, and protected. I want her to have the tools and skills she will need when things don’t go as planned, or when times are tough. I want her to be resilient and resourceful and responsible. I want her to be a mom (when the time is right and if she wants to be). I want her and Blake to be a united pair – a team – respectful of each other and caring for each other. I want the two of them to balance each other and lift each other up. I want her to remember to pray and to be grateful for her many blessings. Most of all, I want her to know that I so admire and respect the beautiful, kind, loving, generous, intelligent, responsible, caring woman she has become, and that I love her more than I knew was possible.
I guess I did keep going, didn’t I? I can’t help it – it’s a mom thing! I am so excited for Kim to start her life with the man she has chosen, and I pray that their union is blessed and happy and long-lasting. I am looking forward to having our family together to celebrate this glorious day. I am thankful that both Kim and Blake have kept the wedding itself in perspective and that they have chosen to focus on the purpose of the celebration – the sacrament of holy matrimony. I am happy, happy, happy!
<Cue bell ringing!>
P.S. I can’t wait to see all of the pictures – maybe I won’t wait forever to get them in a book!! (David, no comments, please!!) Here are a few courtship and engagement photos of the blissful couple:
Fonts: Digs My Hart