The year 2019 holds so many sad memories for me. In January I lost my Mom and then in February I lost a very dear friend to ALS. I found myself putting my life on hold to help my Dad and to be there for my best friend in whatever way she needed me after the loss of her husband.

My Mom did everything for my Dad. I had to teach him how to write a check so he could pay his rent. In fact, I had to show him how to do just about everything. I knew this time would come, but I had no idea it would come when it did. My Dad didn’t want anything around that was going to remind him of my Mom, so he had packed up all the photos, albums, jewelry, and anything else that was a reminder of her and gave them to family members. Before I even had time to come to terms with my Mom’s death, I was having to deal with all these memories that I had just been handed. A lot of things are still in their containers in case my Dad changes his mind and wishes he still had some of her things.

My best friend, Connie, and her family are like family to us. Our boys played soccer together for years and we all traveled together. We have so many great memories. When her husband, Daryl, was diagnosed with ALS, it was devastating! During his illness, we didn’t see each other as much as we would have liked, but we have the kind of friendship where we can just catch up whenever we can get together. During those times, we would talk, laugh, cry, and then I would just listen when she was angry and just needed someone other than family to vent to about dealing with this disease and what it meant for their lives.

Just when I would think things were getting better, something would come along and put me right back to square one. There were many nights where I could do nothing else by cry. I still have those nights at time.

At Thanksgiving, I had the opportunity to grab a co-worker’s timeshare in Tahoe for Thanksgiving. The person who took it originally backed out at the last minute and so my family decided to take it. The only person missing was my son, Brian, because he was already scheduled to work out of town that week and couldn’t get the time off work. We had a great time and it brought back some memories of my Mom and the first time she had ever seen it snow.

When we were on our way home, Brian called and said the guest bedroom was flooded and there was a leak somewhere. He turned off the water to the house. The drive took us 10 hours because of the snow. There ended up being a pinhole leak in the hot water line from the hot water heater that goes to the laundry room, guest bathroom and kitchen. Yeah, not good!

I closed out 2019 with mold remediation signed off, a claim into our homeowner’s insurance for new granite countertops, new backsplash, all new cabinets, and repairs to the new tile floors we had just finished installing in September. Because of the holidays, the insurance company said we wouldn’t hear anything until after the first of the year. Well, it’s after the first of the year, and we are still waiting.

My New Year’s Resolution for 2020 is just SURVIVING! I have decided to set goals for 2020 and my resolution is to survive and come out a happier and healthier me. I have learned to accept I can’t change what life throws at me, but I can survive it and learn from it. The most important thing I learned from 2019 is that I must take time for me. It’s okay to say no sometimes and that some things can wait until I am ready to deal with them. If I am happy and healthy, then I am stronger and more confident. So, here’s to SURVIVING and to meeting goals which will, in turn, make my New Year’s Resolution one that I will accomplish!

Debbie

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18 Responses to Blog: Surviving the New Year’s Resolution! by Debbie Pasquini

  1. Nathalie says:

    Wow, what a difficult year for you! So many emotional moments you have shared with us. Grieving is a long process and adding major home certainly pushes emotions to the next level. Wishing you a gentle 2020 with time for you and hope your house gets back to normal in the very near future. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Kaye Rhodes says:

    Hope 2020 will be a better year for you.

  3. Terry Vachowski says:

    Thanks for sharing, Debbie! It sounds as if you really got all the bad things together in 2019. I am SO wishing you only good things in 2020.

  4. Cris Garcia says:

    Thanks for sharing, Debbie. I, too, had to deal with parents’ health issues last year – and all the unexpected stuff like having to see their home, moving them into assisted living, assuming responsibilities for their finances, etc. – only to lose my Dad in December. I had to sort of ‘check out’ to focus on what they needed from me. I haven’t yet been able to dive into the bins of photos, but i do know it’s cathartic to put all the memories to paper by way of our pages. Thanks again.

    • Thank you, Cris! I’m so sorry for your loss, too. I haven’t been able to devote as much time to the PPC, but the little bit of time I do get allows me to just turn off my brain for a bit and gather my sanity again. I am looking forward to the Birthday Bash so I can just escape and regroup with all of you!

  5. Nandini Trehan says:

    Here’s to surviving dear Debbie! Love and hugs! All will be good!

  6. Pat says:

    Hugs & prayers Debbie.

  7. Mari Saenz says:

    Debbie, I cried just reading your post. What a tough year you have had and I pray that God will give you some relief this coming year. Thank goodness He does give us a time of rest. I’ve been through some of those tough times. I lost my mom and we did go through and pack up her things before I was ready. As a result they stayed in the boxes a while but then I was so glad I had them too later when I finally went through them, scanned them, and shared them with my sisters. I pray for some peace for you and God’s blessings throughout the coming year.

  8. Viv Mauriri says:

    Wow, that was a tough year for you. I hope 2020 brings some joy into your life. That positive attitude will certainly help.

  9. embmoore@yahoo.com says:

    Thank you for sharing.

  10. lbisset says:

    Excellent blog, my friend. We have all been down that path where we think we are going to drown. The one thing that counts is keeping a positive attitude which helps us keep our head above water. You are doing fine. Keep scrapping those memories.

  11. Taylor Teresa says:

    Oh, Debbie. I am so sorry you had such a hard year. Praying 2020 will be better for you.

  12. Debbie Halsey says:

    Excellent blog and love your perspective! Good luck in 2020

  13. Avril Lawson says:

    What a tough year you had Debbie. I wish you all the very best for 2020. Love & hugs Avril

  14. Jill Sterrick says:

    Indeed! Here’s to you Debbie. You CAN do it! You certainly had a challenging 2019…here’s to a brighter 2020!! (And I love your page)

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